Sunday, June 05, 2005
Just came back from cg meeting.. So tired.. Actually I was oledi feeling down starting frm tis morning le until after the cg meeting..
11.10am. - Howard called me.. Cos the ring tone is the same as my alarm.. i tot it was my alarm tt went off.. So i tot.. oh.. 9 am now, get ready for cg.. Surprised tt it was a call.. i pick it out.. Tinking tt Howard is giving me a morning call or sth.. onli to find out from Howard tt it's oledi 11.10.. ahaha.. and i was late.. haha.. Anyway.. i immediately had a fresh change of clothes and went out immediately.. without breakfast.. and didn't tok to my dad abt whr i was gg..
As i walked dwn to the road.. i was considering whether shld i take a cab to cg.. which is at CCK.. erm.. staring at the 17 dollars in my wallet.. i gave up tt thought.. haha.. anyway took a bus dwn thr in the end.. reached arnd 12.30..
12.30pm- Omg.. I'm so late for cg meeting.. besides.. i'm still at the control station.. had to ask Howard to come and fetch me.. Saw him arriving wif his shirt soaked wif sweat.. i feel so bad.. we chatted on our way thr.. but.. i just dun feel lyk toking.. Dun noe y i'm so quiet.. maybe the after-effect of being in poly.. Just wasn't feeling friendly.. Reached Evon's house.. and it has oledi started.. Fortunately.. i was just in time for the sermon.. which was realli gd cos it affected me so much.. Shall shared it wif u guys..
I dun noe y.. tis few days.. i'm starting to lose faith in God. I feel tt I'm backsliding.. and i was so afraid.. tt God will forsake me for the sins tt i done.. then today was realli the limit.. I'm just so frightened.. of every1 in the cg.. I'm afraid tt they can tell i'm starting to backslide.. When Sis Veron looked at me during cg meeting.. i just looked away.. Fearing of wad she can see in my eyes.. The cg meeting was full of doubts in my mind.. i keep telling myself to hold on to God.. no matter wad.. as the Devil keeps putting thoughts in my mind.. Then today sermon was on Fruits Of Spiritual Encounter.. As Sis Veron preach abt it.. i suddenly was enlightened.. if u wanna noe more.. come ask me.. Anyway.. thr's tis phrase tt i wanna share to u guys.. The Devil can onli put evil thoughts in my head.. but,
HE CAN'T FORCE U TO DO IT!
u just have to remain strong in faith to God.. and no matter how big is the temptation.. u must tell urself tt the Devil cannot force u.. and u shall not succumb to the Devil's wishes.. for we r the pple and children of God. Yup.. i tink tis is the best msg tt enlightened me.. then i noe tt God has nv forsake me from the sermon.. it's just tt i'm nt strong in faith.. cos as usual.. i noe all these long ago.. i just wasn't confident enuff.. i'm just nt strong enuff in faith..
For those who envy me for my faith in God.. It's nt owaes true.. i'm too struggling..
Hmm.. i just have to pray tt my faith in God cannot be shaken anymore, cos i do nt want to backslide anymore.. i wanna Grow more towards GOD!
Turned out tt quite a no of pple is nt feeling rite today..
Angel: erm.. ur situation is bo pian de lah.. just take care anyway..
Sweet: i dun noe anything abt nerve pts and acupuncture.. but i tink u will be fine.. anyway.. Take gd care of urself!
Xiang Yun: Although i dun noe wad issit abt.. just dun tink too much.. and the whole cg will support u!
Me: i was just feeling dwn. but after the cg meeting.. i'm feeling better..
Pple.. we have to remain STRONG in faith k?!
Jed walked through the seasons at